Dear Officer Corry
Congratulations. As a result of your diligent efforts, Over the Rhine is a much safer place than it was a few short hours ago. What, you ask, acts of heroism did you perform?
Well, you didn’t prevent the neighborhood punk from shooting a late-middle aged woman near 17th and Vine a week or so ago.
And you didn’t stop the deranged man who was verbally abusive and physically threatening to mothers walking their young children to school near Findlay Market last week.
Nor did you stop the two boys from the neighborhood two days ago when they took their fight over a wall and into Vine Street as they strangled each other.
You did drive right past two obvious crack or heroin transactions this afternoon while you were in hot pursuit of two hardened criminals — who were driving every bit of 15 miles an hour.
I know you thought those two were up to no good, buying drugs or looking for hookers. In fact, you were sure they were already high. After all, what sober person turns the wrong way onto a one-way alley, especially one that displays no sign announcing such fact? Or travels an additional block on another one-way street because he now has to avoid oncoming traffic and a street closure for construction?
If you paid any attention whatsoever on your beat, you’d have recognized the car as belong to a prominent citizen and a huge proponent of the renaissance of Over the Rhine. In fact, ask Chief Streicher who drives the yellow Corvette with green racing stripes. There is only one in town. Ask any twenty of your fellow officers who has always driven yellow Corvettes with the license plate IM4FUN. All twenty will probably be able to tell you the answer — and speak kindly of the man.
This citizen in question chose to headquarter his internationally recognized consulting firm in Over the Rhine back in the dark days. He also owned and operated another business across the street from that headquarters.
This citizen continues to support those who invest in Over the Rhine. That yellow Corvette is parked in front of Lavomatic Cafe virtually ever day while its owner enjoys his lunch inside. Most Saturdays, it is also parked opposite Tucker’s Restaurant and in a lot at Findlay Market while its owner visits Joe and Carla (thank you kind sir for introducing me to Joe and Carla) and buys from the Market vendors.
Your somber pronouncement of “multiple one-way violations” was almost laughable. The man acknowledged his error as you approached the car. He made a mistake, acknowledged it, and apologized for it before you ever opened your mouth. I guess you have never made an honest mistake. No one was endangered by his actions. Yours was the only other vehicle on either street.
Did your little traffic stop really require the reinforcements who came to your aid? Where does one draw the line of overkill? Two additional cruisers? Plus two bicycle-riding officers? And a motorcycle mounted officer? The horse mounted patrols in the area must have been on their lunch break. It’s a good thing they filled in the Erie Canal a century ago. Were it still here, you would have had to call for the police boat as well. I wonder how close you came to calling out Sheriff Leis’s helicopter. A K-9 unit would have been a nice touch, but a feline unit would have produced more results (see Note below).
You approached the car twice by yourself (albeit with your reinforcements close by). Was it really necessary to position the motorcycle officer two feet from the passenger door of the car when you came back to deliver the citation? What risk did you perceive in that passenger? Did he look ready to bolt? Was he threatening to you in some way? I’ll admit he comes off as one tough hombre — what with his Lacoste polo shirt, pressed khakis, business haircut and geeky eyeglasses (bifocals, no less). Imagine your surprise when he engaged your colleague in casual chitchat.
I am grateful for one thing — that neither you nor your colleague spotted the water bottle at the passenger’s feet. You see, the car owner-driver had just received a gift from Gus Miller, the proprietor of Batsake’s Hat Shop. Gus’s brother still owns a farm in Greece. Each year he sends Gus the best crop from his most prized mountaintop field of oregano. Gus packages the oregano and gives a quantity to his friends and best customers. Gus’s gift to the driver was a clear one liter bottle filled to the brim with this prized oregano. Had you spotted the bottle, you would certainly have confirmed your suspicion that these two criminals were users, dealers, or rubes having been taken by the local dealers.
For your incompetence in your overzealous enforcement of traffic protocol, I am relieved. I really didn’t want to call my wife this afternoon and ask her to post bail for my arrest for unlawful possession of a culinary herb. And my friend the driver didn’t particularly want to to make that call to his wife either.
Note: A cat trained to detect excessive fish contact would have immediately identified me as a dangerous slicer of smoked salmon.
Edit:† I have added photos taken shortly after noon on Monday, June 2 of the intersections from our perspective.† Note in each case the complete lack of signage.
Thirteenth and Republic:
Fourteenth and Republic (on Saturday access to 14th Street to the right was closed to traffic):
8 Comments »
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Let’s separate the facts as you presented them from the (well-written but) inconsequential points in your story…
* An individual drove his vehicle the wrong way down a few one-way streets. You were in the car as well.
* The individual admitted his infractions as Officer Corry approached the vehicle.
It sounds to me like Officer Corry did his job — he found someone breaking the law (driving the wrong way down a one-way street) and cited them. This should be the end of the story.
However, it seems that you are suggesting that Officer Corry should have taken into consideration that the driver of the vehicle is a “prominent citizen and a huge proponent of the renaissance of Over the Rhine”. It seems that you are proposing different laws for people of different classes. Or are you suggesting different laws for people that are proponents of the renaissance of Over the Rhine as opposed to those that do not? Or different laws for people who “chose to headquarter [their] internationally recognized consulting firm in Over the Rhine back in the dark days”? Is the fact that the individual in question is known to other police officers because of his signature yellow car reason for ignoring his infraction of the law? What do those assertions add to the case, counselor?
If this individual is so prominent and knowledgeable about Over the Rhine, why did he break the law by driving the wrong way down a one-way street? From your tale, it is obvious that he knew he did wrong — this individual admitted wrongdoing as Officer Corry approached the car. Should he be given a break because he’s a “prominent citizen”? Because he supports the renaissance of Over the Rhine? Why is it Officer Corry’s job to determine the ‘status’ of an individual? Shouldn’t this “prominent citizen” have respected the law instead of ignoring it, if he’s so prominent? Or does he feel that the law does not apply to him because of his “prominence”?
Office Corry probably called in reinforcements as directed by his superiors. Remember… YOU know who was in the car and their motives; Officer Corry did not. Officer Corry, in my opinion, is entitled to do whatever he feels is necessary to protect himself (within the scope of the law) during a stop. You or the driver may have been up to no good. You may have been carrying something more dangerous than a water bottle. Your driver may have had bad intentions. Officer Corry errs, quite understandably, on the side of caution and self-preservation.
Your friend broke the law and got caught. And he admitted it.
Your article smacks of elitism and snobbery, which is quite an unusual tone for this blog.
Comment by Clark Kent — June 2, 2008 @ 12:19 pm
Clark,
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Actually, to the extent I was making points at all, I was making different ones. The piece, after all, was intended to be amusing. If I intended to make points, they would be these:
First, I have no quibble with how CPD and its officers choose to protect themselves. I was struck, however, by two things — that additional officers hung around long after it was clear they were dealing with a couple of dum-dums who simply made a wrong turn and that considering how quickly how many additional officers arrived that there was no police presence around the events I witnessed (aftermath only in the case of the shooting) in the preceding days.
Second, we were profiled. Sure, we were stopped because my friend was going the wrong way on a one way street. We got the full treatment because we were obviously outsiders in a flashy car at Fourteenth and Republic. And in the opinion of the officers, we were probably there to buy drugs for a big Saturday night out. I included details about my friend to show just how wrong the profile was. On the other hand, the irony of my friend’s having the huge bottle of dried oregano in the car and, had an officer seen it, our being pulled from the car and carefully searched on a drug suspicion makes me laugh.
Finally, yes, my opinion is that the citation is bogus, but not for the reasons you attribute to me. I understand zero tolerance policing and advocate for it. Every citation issued has a economic and social cost and benefit. For zero tolerance policing to be credible, and, therefore, effective, the citations have to stick. This one won’t. We didn’t know the direction of those streets until we were already on them and noticed cars parked facing us on both sides of the streets. There were no signs at either intersection indicating “one way” or “no left/right turn.” Once in the situation, there was only one way out of it. My friend did the only thing he could do. At the time he wrote the ticket, that officer absolutely knew that to be the case and knew those intersections do not display “one way” signs. He was either making another point or banking that my friend will simply pay the $104 and live with the license points.
Note the edits to the original post showing photos of the intersections.
Comment by Michael — June 2, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
Thanks for your reply.
* Perhaps the additional officers (how many of them were at your stop, anyway?) hung around because a non-combative traffic stop may be a refreshing change for them. Also, don’t assume that just because you and your driver may appear non-threatening (tough hombre in your bifocals or not) that the officers will let their guard down or leave a brother officer in a potentially dangerous situation. Either you or your driver could have had darker motives toward the police. Or maybe, God willing, it was a slow day for them and they were just enjoying the spectacle.
* Did the officers tell you that they thought you were there to buy drugs for a “big Saturday night”, or are you assuming that’s what they thought (if so, isn’t that profiling or pre-judging their thoughts without knowing those thoughts?)? My strong assertion is that they did not suspect any drug activity. (How do you know the officer drove by “two obvious crack or heroin transactions” during his pursuit?) OTR, especially the Gateway Quarter, is the object of strong drug enforcement attention. I believe that if the officers even suspected drug activity, they would have done a very thorough search of the car and of you two, revealing the jar of oregano (with ensuing hilarity, I imagine). I’ve seen how the police react when they suspect drug activity, and the fact that you WEREN’T searched indicates the lack of suspicion.
* Unless the police told you they thought you were buying dope for a big weekend, I heartily disagree that you were profiled beyond matching the profile of a vehicle breaking traffic laws — which in this case was an accurate ‘profile’.
* How can you advocate a zero-tolerance policy yet claim that the citation was bogus? If there was a checkbox: “Was the law broken? YES or NO”, you’d have to check YES, and thus invoke the zero-tolerance policy. While I agree with you that there certainly are other areas more deserving of concentrated police attention, the police did discover your friend in the process of breaking the law, and, in fact, in citing your friend did “clean up the streets” in (an admittedly small) way.
The fact that the streets are not marked may give your friend the opportunity to wriggle out of this citation. Hopefully, he can use his prominence to influence the city to put up appropriate signage. Cars moving the wrong direction on a one-way street presents a tremendous danger to other vehicles and pedestrians.
Personally, I think he should pay his $104, which to a prominent citizen and owner of an internationally recognized consulting firm should be chump-change, and call it tuition for a lesson in humility.
I won’t dilute your enjoyable blog with more off-topic discussion. The samples of your product I have tasted have been excellent. Keep up the good work.
Comment by Clark Kent — June 2, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
I applaud your reconstruction of this episode. It clearly reflects your views of yourself and your friend. It offers a glimpse into the future of Over-The-Rhine. How could a law abiding citizen like your self offer such garble for consumption and not feel the embarrassment such elitist irresponsible views should bring. I fail to understand how a person so aware of society’s problems and being so clearly educated in urban crime, just such as the heroin sales at 14th and Republic streets, could not clearly understand the insignificant contact you had with a Cincinnati Police officer.
I offer my response to your reconstruction of this scenario. How did you know that heroin was being sold? Have you purchased heroin at that location before? I don’t know the difference between heroin, crack, speed, and most any other commonly abuse street drug. How do you? Did you call the police to report the drug activity? Did you offer your information to the police in regards to the shooting at “17th and Vine streets”? [And to offer you some information that will retard your abilities of eloquent ignorance, there is not a 17th street in Over-The-Rhine. It simply is called Green Street. This should advance your credibility within your ramblings in the future.] Thank you for giving me a clear understanding of the gentleman in the corvette’s perception of authority, law, and society’s expectations. Next time I see him in the Kroger in Anderson Twp I will happily offer him a head bow in subordinate respect.
I thank you for your complete lack of accountability and integrity. It ironically mirrors that of the drug dealers you offered as a police priority in lieu of any traffic law enforcement. Remember, we are all one in the same. We are all working in the interest of the betterment of our community. What have you done to better your community today?
Comment by Jim Smith — June 5, 2008 @ 12:18 am
Well, the votes are in. Those who know me have called after reading this post to laugh with me about the events. Those who know me not at all have done nothing or commented and called me an elitist and a snob.
I can live with that.
And for the record concerning enforcement of the laws, large and small — when (not if) I am stopped and cited for crossing against the light or in the middle of the block along Green Street (which I walk at least twice each day and so am quite familiar with its name), I will quietly and cheerfully pay the fine. And probably as joke on myself, post a scan of the citation and the payment.
Comment by Michael — June 5, 2008 @ 9:36 pm
I believe you’re new to the blog world, aren’t you? I think you’ve just learned that what you WRITE on the internet is the sum-total of what we — your readers have to go on.
See, I don’t know you — I THINK it was you I received the sample of salmon from, but I don’t know for sure — and can only take what’s written as what was intended.
And what was written sounded elitist and snobbish. Read it from my standpoint and you won’t be able to disagree.
Comment by Clark Kent — June 9, 2008 @ 9:43 am
So now this post is “satire”?! (http://justcured.com/2008/06/the-mystery-of-the-smoked-salmon-abuse/)
Sounds like a CYA to me! Just take your lumps… You posted something that makes you look bad. Just admit it.
Comment by Clark Kent — June 12, 2008 @ 10:27 am
Like Clark, I don’t know you other than what you write. And from this example, you have a great sense of humor!
I got a laugh, anyway. Good luck with traffic court!
Comment by mur — June 13, 2008 @ 8:54 am